Forget terrorists, jellyfish are the real enemy.

I hate jellyfish.

Actually, that's a bit of an understatement. I absolutely despise, loathe, abhor and detest the retched creatures. They have no purpose that I can see and I want them wiped from the earth. Whilst browsing the other day, I did see something that said they help the current of the ocean with their movement but I will happily volunteer my services in using a giant whisk to perform a better job if those in power will let me assemble a squad of people to swim around disposing of every single one we find. We can even use the giant whisk for that as well. See, it has so many uses.

My hatred of these 'animals' (if you can call them that) doesn't stem from being attacked by one. This should demonstrate just how legitimate my feeling is as it is not based on some blind vendetta but rather a quest for good. I have to admit, however, that it was an unsavoury experience that kick started this desire. As a child, I was wandering the ocean when I was presented with a sight that struck me with such fear it took many years before I could return to the water. Two rows of small jellyfish, headed by one larger version stretched out in front of me as I turn to walk back to the beach. Needless to say, that would be a terrifying vision for anyone, let alone an impressionable child. That moment, a phobia of jellyfish was born.
Since then, the phobia has developed into a loathing and I think it is about time we humans did something to combat our wobbly foes. Think that it is an overreaction? Well then tell the Japanese, they will tell you that offensive action would simply be retaliation in a war that the jellyfish have already started. Over there, gigantic jellyfish like the one above have begun dragging fishing boats into the murky depths from which they came. See this report for the details. Now tell me that nothing should be done. Also, watch this video without gagging at the grotesque phallic nature of this even bigger specimen and you'll be a stronger person than I.

In conclusion, please join me in declaring war on this disgusting genus. They haven't got a brain and all they do is float around stinging and eating and making me feel weird. Essentially, they are just underwater, mobile mould. We have no need for them, the world has no need for them and they look really strange. Lets get rid of them together.