Another Reluctant Guide to Decisions.

Here is where we delve into the abyss of personal decision making. In this part two (part one here) we look at how to make decisions for yourself without really having to make decisions. Hopefully this will ease the pain of using your brain to map out your life.

1. Role Model: In order to ensure that you live a life that you are pleased with it is a good idea to have a role model. Choose someone whose life you admire and then whenever a decision crops up you can think 'What would -insert name here- do?" A lot of people use Jesus but that guy lived milleniums ago and would probably do crazy things like run away or smashing when confronted with computer problems or computers in general. Also it is best not to choose someone who is insane or evil even if they are impressive. For example do not choose Steve Irwin if you want to live and definitely do not choose a dictator for obvious reasons (e.g. bad hairstyles). Try to keep the same one because it will seem odd if you change your behaviour from day-to-day. "Yesterday he was acting just like Gandhi but today it is Batman. Let us never associate with him again", people will cry. Unfortunately I chose my nickname sake and this has caused me problems. Roaring, whilst commanding attention, does not bring fear and obedience and licking oneself clean is much more hassle than a shower. Also, breathing on statues does nothing at all. How am I supposed to raise my army?
2. Other People: This is obvious. Always do things based on what people will agree with. Even more than that always do the thing that people will be impressed by. This can vary between different observers so the best way to decide is based on what will impress the group of people that you want to copulate with. Hence why I write (it is not working yet).
3. Coin toss: Recognise this? I hoped you would. Much in the same way as in part one, this is not as simple as it looks. Instead of measuring other people's reaction to the coin toss look at your own. Are you happy or sad at what the coin said? After this you will know what to do. Sometimes I do not even toss a coin I just imagine my reaction at the different outcomes. However the amount of psychological control needed for this exercise sometimes makes me pass out so it is not recommended.
4. Money: This is two-fold. What will bring you the most money? Do that. What will cost you the most money? Don't do that. Happiness is not an important factor.
5. Ease: This is the most important part of decision making in many cases. Think about what will be easiest for you. Without having to think about anything else you should have your answer. Apparently doing nothing at all is very rewarding.
6. Wait: Really not interested in making a decision? Then just wait. Many choices expire after a certain amount of time and then you will only have one course of action left. This is the best method of decision making as you do not actually make any decisions. Sometimes it is best to let the Universe guide you through life while you do little in the way of effort. It should be noted that it is handy to enjoy living with your parents with no money or prospects if you employ this method.

So now that I have dispensed this invaluable advice by which you can all live your life what are you going to do for me? All suggestions and donations welcome.